I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You brought string cheese to the strip club
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
