just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
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I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
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I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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