its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the day after is always just damage control
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
