It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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