there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
