Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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