nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
