This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
