she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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