No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
