Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
it was like having sex with a tree stump
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
