Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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