so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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