What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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