Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
