he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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