and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You can't just leave with hair like that
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
