erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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