i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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