What tipped you off? The sombrero?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
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In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
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I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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