Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
