you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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