if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Even the bartender felt bad for me
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I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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