i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
