i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Randomize