it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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