My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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