Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
