And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
