yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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