is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
