I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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