wakey wakey hands off snakey
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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