.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
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Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
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do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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