another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
