Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
