Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce