Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:

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  (305): Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D: http://tfl.nu/t26u
  Replies (12) Good night (2559) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.

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  (614): This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz (1-614): Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual. http://tfl.nu/85jo
  Replies (16) Good night (1717) Bad night (616)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.

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  (908): Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life. http://tfl.nu/04rm
  Replies (63) Good night (1243) Bad night (5385)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut

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  (806): If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut http://tfl.nu/i4w4
  Replies (21) Good night (4968) Bad night (1217)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Why is your vibrator in the fridge?

  (1-760): View more from California

  I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.

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  (760): Why is your vibrator in the fridge? (1-760): I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there. http://tfl.nu/7etk
  Replies (40) Good night (7128) Bad night (1548)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma

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  (402): Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma http://tfl.nu/lc92
  Replies (24) Good night (9501) Bad night (1705)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.

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  (812): Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet. http://tfl.nu/ytjh
  Replies (7) Good night (1335) Bad night (1860)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.

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  (773): If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you. http://tfl.nu/rtfn
  Replies (6) Good night (1831) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?

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  (319): Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best? http://tfl.nu/g5yt
  Replies (15) Good night (3643) Bad night (816)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.

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  (406): I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday. http://tfl.nu/juga
  Replies (5) Good night (1692) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.

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  (281): Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me. http://tfl.nu/lutc
  Replies (11) Good night (632) Bad night (1686)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  was it you?

  (802): View more from Vermont

  ...yes

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  (802): just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store (203): was it you? (802): ...yes http://tfl.nu/br4h
  Replies (7) Good night (2561) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise

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  (253): I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise http://tfl.nu/l8ok
  Replies (4) Good night (754) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.

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  (203): This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me. http://tfl.nu/gwzp
  Replies (4) Good night (568) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.

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  (661): Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back. http://tfl.nu/53qo
  Replies (1) Good night (365) Bad night (324)

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