Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.