Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person

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  (248): I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person http://tfl.nu/uj7d
  Replies (13) Good night (3647) Bad night (707)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  shes about as inviting as chlamydia

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  (778): shes about as inviting as chlamydia http://tfl.nu/iikb
  Replies (2) Good night (641) Bad night (3274)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.

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  (619): You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on. http://tfl.nu/5706
  Replies (3) Good night (4132) Bad night (528)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,

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  (413): your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight, http://tfl.nu/r6s4
  Replies (11) Good night (3345) Bad night (1144)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?

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  (906): i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius? http://tfl.nu/ei5s
  Replies (150) Good night (14707) Bad night (3401)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.

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  (607): The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you. http://tfl.nu/2p1b
  Replies (8) Good night (4571) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick

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  (831): No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick http://tfl.nu/r1nb
  Replies (37) Good night (1554) Bad night (7853)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.

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  (910): Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study. http://tfl.nu/l0py
  Replies (13) Good night (2473) Bad night (3185)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.

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  (843): I like to think of it as a lesbian feast. http://tfl.nu/2rcn
  Replies (10) Good night (1564) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.

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  (816): she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex. http://tfl.nu/xnh2
  Replies (3) Good night (489) Bad night (995)
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  (310): View more from California

  Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again

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  (310): Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again http://tfl.nu/9kfj
  Replies (7) Good night (409) Bad night (1271)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?

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  (615): I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it? http://tfl.nu/iois
  Replies (5) Good night (678) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (27): View more from South Africa

  You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.

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  (27): You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in. http://tfl.nu/09ev
  Replies (5) Good night (721) Bad night (229)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  I have a hunch Mama J got around.

  (660): View more from Missouri

  Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?

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  (660): I have a hunch Mama J got around. (660): Am I allowed to say that about my own mom? http://tfl.nu/20rk
  Replies (4) Good night (320) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!

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  (816): Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this! http://tfl.nu/4lfv
  Replies (1) Good night (564) Bad night (235)

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