If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard