Texts From Last Night

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  (509): View more from Washington

  I want to make a zoo with you.

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  (509): I want to make a zoo with you. http://tfl.nu/c924
  Replies (5) Good night (1564) Bad night (689)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...

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  (202): if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess... http://tfl.nu/v82v
  Replies (10) Good night (1356) Bad night (2883)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again

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  (404): Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again http://tfl.nu/4z80
  Replies (59) Good night (809) Bad night (3624)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship

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  (401): Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship http://tfl.nu/zpw1
  Replies (12) Good night (1179) Bad night (3592)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I have no recollection of sleep choking you

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  (860): I have no recollection of sleep choking you http://tfl.nu/6fhf
  Replies (8) Good night (1671) Bad night (2312)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I woke up with glitter in my wounds.

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  (778): I woke up with glitter in my wounds. http://tfl.nu/r4io
  Replies (11) Good night (2296) Bad night (1190)
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  (530): View more from California

  Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.

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  (530): Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon. http://tfl.nu/gqwa
  Replies (9) Good night (1156) Bad night (1433)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.

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  (226): This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible. http://tfl.nu/a5mz
  Replies (6) Good night (2981) Bad night (682)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.

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  (815): I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good. http://tfl.nu/gzj9
  Replies (6) Good night (613) Bad night (1025)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.

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  (724): If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet. http://tfl.nu/ik1n
  Replies (4) Good night (834) Bad night (1122)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.

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  (937): My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right. http://tfl.nu/7bat
  Replies (4) Good night (1114) Bad night (387)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!

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  (775): He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/5zy7
  Replies (3) Good night (889) Bad night (287)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.

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  (864): Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation. http://tfl.nu/p5up
  Replies (3) Good night (380) Bad night (438)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.

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  (570): As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends. http://tfl.nu/fyb4
  Replies (0) Good night (454) Bad night (207)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in

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  (978): After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in http://tfl.nu/thny
  Replies (4) Good night (523) Bad night (173)

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