Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone