bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
