I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Rumble strips road head = magical
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
