On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
