**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just had sex bonerless
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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