i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
