nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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