these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
