Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Drunk walkin through police station. America
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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