I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
