so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
