We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
