shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
