Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
