I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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