Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
