Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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