You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
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I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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