That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
