he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
