hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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