The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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