his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
