Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
