All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
