Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
barbara walters just said penis...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
