I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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