Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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