YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
