i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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